Metaphysics In Traveling A Distance

Thursday, July 14, 2015
6:35 PM

Departing for Singapore Saturday, the day after tomorrow.

I am sitting on the front balcony, which hangs like a bridge across the entire facade of our house. I can see the upper story of Artery Art Space from where I am. It is a weekday, and there are many vehicles on the street below. Aubrey has arrived from school. Jeff is cooking our dinner in the kitchen. The security guards are at their station beside the small loggia. I can hear their conversation from where I am.

In my mind I travel to Alkaff Bridge in Singapore, which Pacita Abad designed and painted when she was doing her artistic residency there. Whenever I visit Singapore I make it a point to go on Alkaff Bridge. It is always as if Pacita asks me to do her some kind of homage. The bridge, after all, is on the river beside the theater building, where I will be three days from now. I imagine the colors of the bridge, the balloon-like shapes looming above me, the buildings on both ends of it. I wonder where I am having dinner later. Will it be with W.? Will it be all by myself, in the hotel, or in my room with food bought from a hawkers center or a convenience store?

This is me now, thinking of later.

I touch the iron trellis of the balcony. Can I imagine it as the surface of the railing of Alkaff Bridge?


Friday, July 22, 2016
12:00 NN

Standing on Alkaff Bridge and taking photos.

I am on Alkaff Bridge, occupying space and thinking of home and remembering that, two Thursdays ago, I was occupying space on our balcony at home and imagining myself on Alkaff Bridge. Did I imagine myself right? Do I remember myself right? Which me is reality--the me last Saturday, or the me today? Will I be asking the same questions after I die, about the me who was physically alive and the me after my physical death?

I am waiting to have lunch with TT and E. The people crossing the bridge give way, probably perceiving me as a crazy tourist. I stop taking photos. I put my hand on the bridge and look at the brown water below and the ferry boats in the distance. Can I imagine it as the iron trellis of our front balcony?